


Infinitely Better

by moist_breadslap



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Smut, Humor, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, One Shot, Slut Shaming, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, This is terrible, im shit at writing, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 09:30:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13738002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moist_breadslap/pseuds/moist_breadslap
Summary: Phil has a HUGE effing crush on a guy. Dan is dating that guy. Let the chaos begin *evil laughing*





	Infinitely Better

**Author's Note:**

> I saw an interesting prompt for another fandom that said to write a fanfic based on your favourite book/film. Mine is loosely (I said loosely, take notice) based on the book Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist and the film Easy A. I'm shit at writing because I have no idea about human emotions or how one might react in these situations. So, this happened. Enjoy (maybe). I had no beta so prepare for shitty grammar and spelling mistakes (again, probable).

Phil was eating salad in the lunch hall, day dreaming about the same boy who invaded his dreams at night. Elijah.  

 

Elijah was the schools popular boy, the award-winning jock, the heart throb. And the best thing? He was a bisexual sex god and Phil was sure that God Herself sent him down made just for him. He sighed audibly, thinking about his toned abs, his golden hair sweaty after playing a game his sparkling hazel eyes and a large, hard co-.  

 

"Phil!" Pj threw a chip at Phil's face and pulled him rather rapidly out of his daydream.  

 

"Huh?" He looked around helplessly, trying hard to remember the topic of conversation. He failed.  

 

"Holy shit, Phil! Have you been blocked out the entire time we've been talking?" Pj asked, obviously knowing the answer.  

 

Phil nodded. "Sorry, it's just he spoke to me again today!" He said excitedly.  

 

"Who?" Louise spoke up, confusion clear on her face.  

 

"Elijah Cox, who else would he be talking about Louise." Pj guessed correctly.  

 

"He's really not that nice, Phil. I heard he dumped a girl last month after he accidently killed her dog, by text, on her birthday" Louise began typing on her phone, looking inconspicuous.  

 

"The probability of him doing all of that stereotypical douchebag shit is incredibly low, Louise. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if it's just nonsense rumours" Phil said confidently, truly believing in his words.  

 

"What did he speak to you about this time? Was it to get "advice" on homework? Or just for the correct answer on a paper where nobody is supposed to be talking?" Pj asked, clearly letting the sass drip through in his questioning.  

 

"He wanted to partner for a project together!" Phil squealed, excitedly.  

 

"You're joking, right?" Pj laughed.  

 

"Why would I be joking?" Phil replied, perplexed by PJ's laughter.  

 

"Because he's leading you on. He knows you're the smartest in your course and he wants you to do all the work." He snapped, unimpressed by his best friends naivety. "I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't even like you".  

 

Phil gasped at PJ's harsh words and said nothing as he threw his backpack on and rushed out of the hall, fighting tears back as he comprehended the truth and abrasiveness of PJ's statement.  

 

Louise glared at Pj across the table. He noticed and kept his eyes glued to his plate.  

 

Louise kicked his shin hard under the table. "Ow" he winced. "What?".  

 

"What(!)" she mocked. "Why did you say that to him? You know he really likes Elijah!" Louise whisper-shouted.  

 

"Because he shouldn't like Elijah, you know that as much as I do, Louise. I don't want to see my best friend being used by some creep and then left out to dry with the other gullible poor souls he's used." Pj hated to think how Phil would feel.  

 

"I know, but he should be allowed to find out for himself. And if you hate Elijah so much, why have you invited him to your party tomorrow?" She showed Pj her phone with a message from a friend, who was also one of the thousands sexual partners Elijah has had.  

 

-/- Lou, I'm not going to the party tomorrow, tell Pj I'm sorry. Kelly said Elijah's going and I just can't risk it. Xx -\\-  

 

"Well, you said it yourself he needs to find out on his own." Pj offered no further explanation as he balanced his plates, before disposing them and quickly leaving the hall.  

 

\-- 

 

So, we're doing pre-drinks" Phil checked his watch "three hours before the actual party. A party that's happening here. Pointless, no?".  

 

"Well, pre-drinks and setting up for my party. So, not pointless. Very much pointful. Pointness?" Pj rushed around his kitchen taking important electrical items out of their switches, still contemplating his use of words.  

 

"Those are definitely not words." Phil watched as Pj unplugged his microwave before carrying it up the stairs as he followed him.  

 

Pj placed the microwave on his bed - along with a kettle, various mugs, an entire spice rack and a toaster. "Why are your kitchen appliances on your bed?" Its not a question Phil had asked before.  

 

"I told you what happened at my last party! Someone stole my microwave, there was weed in my toaster and everyone used my mugs in a fucking throwing contest, of all things!" Pj walked as he ranted, still clearly traumatised by his last party host experience.  

 

Phil sniggered. Clearly the wrong thing to do as Pj whipped his head round, with a shocked glare. "You try explaining to your parents why their microwave was gone. They thought I sold it for drugs or something as drastic as that".  

 

"I'm still surprised their letting you have another party" Phil was genuinely shocked by this.  

 

"Well, I am living in my own flat now. It doesn't matter if they pay 75% of the bills, right?" Pj picked bag after bag of booze and pushed them on the table. "Wasn't sure what people would like. So, I just stayed safe and bought lots of larger, cider and a couple bottles of vodka."  

 

"How much?"  

 

"One hundred and fifty quid" Pj whispered.  

 

Phil physically winced. "Did you finally turn to prostitution?" Phil joked.  

 

"That's a last resort, so no. I took some money out of my account as soon as it went in." Pj explained. "But I wont be able to afford brand name food for a while".  

 

Phil sighed. "Life of a student, eurgh."  

 

"Did you bring anything to drink?" Pj asked, clanging bottles together whilst he stacked the fridge.  

 

"I brought Malibu and lemonade. I don't want to get too drunk, I still have an assignment to hand in and I don't want to do it last minute". Phil helped Pj stack his fridge, giving up on just watching the poor boy nearly break the new expensive flavoured ciroq, that would inevitably end up on his bathroom rug but in vomit form.  

 

"You don't want to do it Tom-style?" Pj chuckled.  

 

"And end up failing my course? Fuck no!"  

 

Pj laughed but remember he had something important to say "I'm sorry about yesterday, Phil. I didn't mean to make you upset, you know. I'm just protective because you're my best friend and I don't want to see you get hurt."  

 

Phil smiled "I understand, I guess I could be more careful". 

 

"Unlike Tom, right?" Pj joked. 

 

The boys laughed and joked about their mutual friend Tom (obviously not based on Tomska) whilst doing an awful job of putting bottles in the fridge (if there is even such a thing).  

 

Now, they just had to argue over a music playlist. Both of them insisting they had better taste in music than the other.  

 

"No, Phil. We are not playing the whole discography of Lady Gaga." Pj said after a four minute mini-argument about the Queen of Pop and her ability to make the whole room dance like their lives depended on it. 

 

Phil huffed. If he didn't get any Lady Gaga this was going to be a long night.  

 

\-- 

 

"This tastes disgusting! What is it?" Louise shouted over the loud music. The party was in full swing and people were crazily dancing to the music and gyrating on the strangers around them. Phil was alone im the kitchen, feeling incredibly drunk. He handed Louise a mixture of drinks after she walked in 'fashionably late'.  

 

"It's everything! Whisky, coke, rum, vodka, Baileys, Cider and a shot of coffee" Phil replied, listing the items off his fingers.  

 

"Why?" Louise shrieked, making vomit noises and coughing due to sheer disgusting taste of the concoction.  

 

"Because you're late and you need to have your share so I put it all together so you could just have it all" Phil seemed pleased with himself as he took enough sip of cider.  

 

Louise glared at Phil before wrestling his drink off him and drinking it herself. "Next time you make a cocktail, Phil, don't make it curdle" Louise shivered at the thought of the drinks textures.  

 

"Phiiillly lad! Let's dance! Oi! Louise is here too! Whoop!" Pj shouted from the doorway of the kitchen.  

 

Phil was beginning to feel tired and he leaned against a wall to feel a bit stable. It was still really loud but he could hear something distantly.  

 

He decided he needed to sober up and walked to the kitchen, not wanting to feel the affects of the countless amount of alcohol he'd consumed, in the morning.  

 

He got a cup and filled it with water and drank it. He did this repetitively until he could feel the clouds in his mind start to fade.  

 

"What the hell are you doing?!" Shouts from behind Phil began to reach his ears.  

 

He turned around and saw some confrontation unfolding in the corridor.  

 

"It's not what it looks like, babe"  

 

"Don't babe me! You're supposed to be my boyfriend and she's got her hand down your trousers!"  

 

Phil neared closer to the kitchen door to get a clearer look at who it was. He didn't recognised the boy shouting or the girl that was looking ashamed. But he did see one boy he recognised and his heart broke just a little.  

 

Elijah Cox.  

 

"Don't bother trying to call me to make up a ridiculous excuse!" The brown haired boy shouted to Elijah. He snatched the girls cup from her hands and threw it in the cheats face. "Fuck you!".  

 

The boy stomped off towards the kitchen where Phil was standing. He moved quickly to the other side of the room and tried to look like he hadn't been eavesdropping.  

 

The boy stormed in the room and shut the door to the kitchen. He slid down the door so he was sitting on the floor and he started to slowly cry.  

 

Phil felt extremely awkward. He cleared his throat.  

 

The boy looked up and seemed surprised that someone else was in the room with him. Wiping the tears from his face, he cleared his throat and began talking "Sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here. I-I'll...go". He slowly got up of the floor and reached for the door handle.  

 

"No! Erm...I mean, I don't mind" Phil felt a full body cringe coming on.  

 

The other boy walked to where Phil was standing and filled a cup with water. He took a sip and held his hand out towards Phil. "I'm Dan" he smiled.  

 

Phil shook his hand. "I'm Phil".  

 

"Did you hear it? The argument?" Dan asked.  

 

Phil was going to lie but it was pretty obvious that he had heard. "Yeah, Elijah's a dick".  

 

"You know him?" Dan asked, curiously, taking another sip of water.  

 

"He's on my course at University, I think he was leading me on. I didn't know he had a boyfriend" Phil said.  

 

"Well, he doesn't have one anymore. I knew I should've listened to my friends but I just thought they were jealous of me or something." Dan sighed.  

 

"How long had you been dating?" Phil asked, hoping to not seem intrusive.  

 

"About a year. Maybe longer. But I wouldn't have called it dating, he clearly doesn't like me or respect me enough to not cheat on me" Dan was humiliated. 

 

"A year? Jesus!" Phil was taken aback, it must've been pretty serious and Elijah really is a jerk, he's probably slept with five people on his course just this month. To think Phil actually liked him.  

 

"I know. God, I'm so gullible! I actually believed his bullshit." Dan drank the rest of the water and leaned on the counter. "I haven't even kissed another person and he's probably been fucking every Tom, Dick and Nancy".  

 

They continued talking about the same topic: Fuckboys and their inability to keep their genitals in their pants, until someone opened up the door calling for Dan. It was Elijah.  

 

Before Phil could react, Dans lips were on his faster than the speed of light. The boy's lips were soft as they moved around.  

 

Phil felt Dan's hand move to his ass and the other laced through his hair. Dan was making lots of moaning noises, which were almost definitely for the benefit of Elijah.  

 

Phil gasped as he felt Dan bite his bottom lip and swipe his tongue across it. Now they were pretty much making out.  

 

"You move on quick, don't you?" Elijah finally said, nothing but bitterness in his tone.  

 

Dan finally, and reluctantly, pulled away from Phil's lips and turned to face Elijah.  

 

"Is somebody jealous?" Dan mocked with a pout.  

 

"Come on, babe. You've made your point. I won't sleep with anyone else if you don't want me to, I just thought we had an arrangement." He stepped forward and tried to cup Dan's face.  

 

Dan stepped back but the anger on his face didn't dissipate. "An arrangement?!" He spat. "Sure, we have an arrangement. You fuck off, leave me alone and never speak to me again. That's the arrangement".  

 

"Babe, don't be like that" he tried to reach out for Dan again.  

 

This time Phil stepped forward and hit his hand away. "Leave him alone, Jesus! This is borderline sexual assault, he doesn't want you to touch him."  

 

"Oh! It's...Kevin?" Elijah asked. 

 

"It's Phil actually and you can forget working with me on that project and I doubt anybody else will work with you either because you've either had sex with them or are friends with people you've had sex with. Oh, yeah and they don't really like evil bastards. It's kinda like a deal breaker". Phil laughed.  

 

"Bet that's the most you've gotten in years. Wasn't it, Phil?" Elijah laughed.  

 

"No, because we're going to have sex now" Dan spluttered out. He grabbed Phil's hand and pulled him to the door.  

 

He started dragging him up the stairs and went in the first room he could find. Thankfully, it was the spare room.  

 

"Erm...what are we doing?" Phil asked, trying to make sense of this whole thing.  

 

"I mean we could have sex, if you want to? No?" Dan watched as Phil shook his head. Not at his best friends house, that's all kinds of wrong. "We could just make a shit ton of moany sex noises and make him think we're having sex?" Dan suggested.  

 

"Again, why?" Phil asked.  

 

"Because it'll piss him off. And he's definitely outside the door" Dan whispered.  

 

"How do you know?" Just as Phil had asked the question, the door handle started rattling.  

 

"I know you won't do it, Dan! Come out now and I'll forgive you". Elijah spoke through the door.  

 

Dan looked at Phil with pleading eyes and it took Phil all of a minute to just nod and agree.  

 

"Just moan or something and I'll bounce on the bed" Dan whispered.  

 

So, Phil started moaning. Strange, long and surprisingly sexy noises.  

 

Dan quietly giggled and Phil stopped. "What?" Phil asked, quietly.  

 

"It sounds so weird" Dan replied quietly.  

 

Suddenly, Dan moaned loudly. "Oh my God, it's so big!" He screamed. "Harder!" He shouted. 

 

Phil put his hand on his mouth to stop himself from bursting out laughing. "Dan! So tight!" he shouted. Followed by more moans.  

 

The moaning and sexual comments carried on for another ten minutes before Dan spoke to Phil directly. "Right, make an orgasm noise now" he whispered.  

 

Phil did his best to replicate a gruff moan to suggest they'd come (eh) to the end of their sexcapade.  

 

Dan settled down next to Phil and attempted to hold his giggles in.  

 

The door started banging again. "Get out here, you cheating whore!" Elijah crudely shouted through the door.  

 

Dan gasped at the harsh words. "Slut shaming, now? This is a new low for you, babe!" Dan shouted.  

 

Elijah continued banging on the door and shouting various different expletives about Dan. He didn't seem to be going away. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He seemed to be staying there for as long as it needed.  

 

"He's not going, what do we do?" Dan whispered.  

 

Phil thought for a second looking around the room. He momentarily had the idea to hit him with a lamp. But quickly dismissed the idea because he didn't want to break the lamp.  

 

"Let's go out the window" Dan suggested.  

 

"We'll die, good idea(!). He can't kill us if we're already dead!" Phil said sarcastically, whilst rolling his eyes so hard it caused a mini migraine.  

 

"There's a some stairs below the window, idiot" Dan said whilst pointing to a large window that had some metal, unstable stairs leading from a fire exit above PJ's apartment.  

 

He felt a little embarrassed, "Oh...sorry. I was just panicking and I snapped. Sor-"  

 

Dan put his finger to Phil's lips and shushed him. "You're forgiven. Now, let's just get out of here before he breaks down the door".  

 

Dan opened the window slowly and as quietly as he could before dangling his leg out and stepping safely on the platform and pulling the rest of his body out the room.  

 

He slowly walked down the stairs and heard Phil follow behind him, taking small steps and getting loud creaks from the stairs in response.  

 

They made it on the grass and Phil finally breathed a sigh of relief. He could definitely see himself falling to his death on those stairs if he stayed on them any longer.  

 

"My place or yours?" Dan asked Phil, who was still trying to recover from the stairs.  

 

"How far away do you live?" Phil asked after he got his breath back.  

 

"Maybe a thirty minute walk? I don't know my way from here, though" Dan replied.  

 

"Mine is a ten minute walk, so let's just go there". Phil seemed a bit hesitant to start leading the way, honestly he was just dreading the state he'd left his room in. Did he throw away that pizza he didn't finish yesterday?  

 

This was going to be interesting.  

 

\-- 

 

"I don't have as much money as Pj, so I had to move into a shared flat. I don't think I've even spoken once to the people here but I'm sure the guy next door is a vampire because he doesn't go out in the morning at all and I think the person in the flat below is a sex addict." Phil explained as they made the journey to his little block of student flats.  

 

"A sex addict?" Dan said, with a peaked interest.  

 

"They have a lot of very loud sex and it drives me crazy!" Phil said, just thinking of what would happen if the loud noises would start up again when him and Dan get there. That would be absolutely mortifying.  

 

Dan just laughed, clearly amused by Phil's distress at his slightly weird neighbours.  

 

"I'm not supposed to have guests over, especially late at night, but they break the rules all the time, so, just fuck it!" Phil found his keys in the pocket of his jeans and swung them about.  

 

They approached a smallish, grey block of flats. Some floors had some scattered balconies and the lights blasting through the windows were a searing white colour that was unpleasing to the eyeballs. "Is this it?" Dan asked.  

 

Phil just nodded and used his key unlock the front door. It took a few attempts to actually get the door to open, eventually resulting in both Dan and Phil pushing with all their might to get the bloody thing to move. It gave away after one final shove.  

 

"That felt like childbirth" Dan breathed out, panting from using so much of his non-existent upper body strength.  

 

"You don't know what birthing a child feels like" Phil laughed.  

 

"I do. Did you not just here me? That felt exactly like childbirth!" Dan said with a straight face before laughing loudly.  

 

Phil just laughed, shaking his head at the same time.  

 

They walked up four flights of stairs and Dan felt like he was going to pass out. "Just drag me along, Phil." Dan said when he reached the top step.  

 

"It's just here now" Phil offered as he walked down the corridor and reached a grey door.  

 

Dan followed, wanting nothing more than to rest after the night they had.  

 

Phil slot his key in and pushed the door handle down. It was eerily more quiet in Phil's room than the corridors were.  

 

Phil pulled Dan in by holding his hand and showed him his tiny room. "So, there's the bed, desk, wardrobe, drawers, window and a lamp." He pointed to each item individually.  

 

Phil flopped down on the bed and pulled Dan with him. Dan wasn't exactly on top of him but he wasn't on his own part of the bed either.  

 

Dan slid off the boy that was under him and laid his head on the pillow. His eyes were closed when he felt the softest kiss on his lips, so it shocked him too much to respond.  

 

"I'm sorry. I didn't think. I'm sor-"  

 

Dan interrupted Phil by seizing his lips again. "Shhh...stop apologizing" he said between kisses.  

 

Phil pulled the cute boy so he was on top of him again and cupped his ass as they kissed.  

 

Dan experimentally pushed his hips into Phil's, which caused a gasp to escape from Phil's lips.  

 

Dan disconnected their lips to pull his shirt off and help Phil's with his. As soon as they were off, he reattached his lips to Phil's and accepted entrance of the others tongue into his mouth.  

 

He relished in the feeling of their skin touching but he needed more. Moving his hand lower, he could feel the growing bulge in Phil's trousers. He rubbed it and listened to the whimpers from the other escape him.  

 

"Do you have any stuff?" Dan asked, hinting about if Phil may be in possession of lube and condoms.  

 

Phil shook his head. "We don't have to do everything. We can take it slow." He said a bit breathlessly as Dan was still rubbing his stimulated area.  

 

Dan nodded in agreement and moved down Phil's body, brushing a tongue past his nipples as he went. Eliciting short, quiet moans from the boy under him.  

 

Unzipping Phil's jeans, his hand purposely brushed against the whole of Phil's length before he reached his hand in and felt the thickness and length of Phil's cock.  

 

He gave it a few tugs to reach it's full hardness but he felt his own dick becoming too hard to stay in his tight jeans.  

 

He moved temporarily off of Phil's body to pull his jeans off and his boxers came with off with them. And quite frankly, he was too horny to give a fuck that Phil was seeing him naked for the first time.  

 

Phil was pushing his own jeans off when Dan returned to his space sitting between the older boys legs. He ripped Phil's boxers off and threw them in a corner to be forgotten about.  

 

Dan had his hands back on Phil's large dick and rubbed it up and down, taking extra time to swipe his thumb over the tip causing Phil to moan out loud.  

 

Licking a long strip from balls to tip, Dan began teasing Phil. He suckled on the tip and rolled his tongue around it.  

 

Phil bucked up into Dan's mouth trying to get more much needed friction, but Dan held him down at his hips.  

 

Dan bobbed up and down before he took the whole of Phil's member and gagged slightly as it hit the back of his throat.  

 

Phil laced his hands into Dan's hair. "D-Dan...I'm gonna...cum" he said between breathy moans.  

 

Dan let go of Phil's lips and encouraged him to buck up so he could fuck into his mouth.  

 

Phil's thrusts were becoming sloppy and Dan knew it was coming to an end.  

 

With one more thrust, Phil let go and felt his cum slide down Dan's throat. He worked him through the orgasm and moved back up the bed so he was lying next to Phil.  

 

They were both breathless for a while, just silence mixed with breathing could be heard in the room.  

 

"Do you need any help?" Phil asked.  

 

"No...I er, already..." Dan replied, embarrassed having cum in his pants like a fifteen year old.  

 

Phil moved closer to Dan and pressed his lips to the others soft, smooth lips. "Want to spoon?" Phil asked, after pulling back from kissing Dan.  

 

Dan just nodded and turned around so his back was touching Phil at all points, feeling his naked body on his in the most intimate way.  

 

It was a couple of minutes later when the exertion spent on their previous activities caught up with the two boys as they both neared sleep.  

 

"Dan, you won't leave before the morning will you?" Phil whispered, worry about the potential of being rejected seeping through his voice. At first, he thought Dan had fell asleep as there was a few moments of silence.  

 

"No. Your bed is comfy as fuck" Dan replied, relaxing further into the bed and even further into the body next to him.  

 

Nothing had ever felt right on either of their lives. Whether it was trying to hard or not trying hard enough. Neither needed to try at all and everything just felt right.  

 

"Night"  

 

"Night"  

**Author's Note:**

> Did you enjoy? Let me know via comments and kudos.  
> Follow my Tumblr - miss-introvert-universe


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